this christmas

this would be 

the 

Christmas 

that our children

gave us our past

in DVD without

our even asking.

we sat,

watching our 

younger selves

at just the ages 

the kids are now

maveling at 

how young we looked

and how rested,

at a time when 

we were not.

i had triangular hair

and 

I thought myself 

beautiful

though now 

it's questionable. 

at least i was thin.

it is also 

the Christmas

that the soul of

our 

family 

didn't make it.

and that happens

when december 

feels more like j

uly,

when weather 

and flight schedules

rule 

our plans.

our Christmas morning 

was not 

nearly as punny,

with him not here,

we just did not feel

complete.

it was the 

Christmas

that i was reminded

that my father 

once jumped rope

to please (maybe impress)

his grandchildren,

and it was a joy

to rewitness

his 

conversations

with me

from so many 

years ago.

it was a Christmas, 

when my boy brought

his bride-to-be

home 

and he gave me 

the gift o

f time

with him,

which is so rare.

and it was the one

when my mother

told the story of

how she met 

my father, and

of the dress she wore

on their first date,

and my daughter found 

the dress

in her closet and

brought it 

down for 

show and tell.

it was also 

the Christmas

when i was 

so busy cooking

i forgot to 

take a picture

of my kids.

so.

it is like

every Christmas:

some sadness.

some joy.

some Christmas.

yes.

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